Chapter 31

Hello Bean.  You’re still in there.  I know you are.  That thing that Mrs. Beauchamp put on my belly says you are too.  None of them thought you would stay there though.  You proved them wrong.  Roman says that means that you are one tough cookie.  He says it like he’s proud.  I am too.  When you come out I’ll tell you to your face so often you’ll never forget it.  I’m just tired.  I just wanted to write this down to celebrate that you are still where you are supposed to be.  I wish other things were as they are supposed to be. 

-------------------------------------- 

Hello Bean.  First day that no one has come by to measure and check and all that other stuff.  I’m still not supposed to get up except to go to the bathroom.  That’s ok though, I’m feeling better than I have but I’m still so tired that most the time I just want to sleep.  Mrs. Beauchamp said that that feeling isn’t just about you Bean.  She said some of it is in my head.  She wasn’t being mean when she said it.  She thinks I’m suffering a kind of something she called a partum depression.  What she basically means is that being pregnant is hard on my head and it is also probably related to what my life has been like since I was stolen and what she calls the latest shock is only making things worse. 

Whatever.   

The only time I don’t feel like shivering is when it is night and Roman is here and we wrap up in the fur cover and the world goes away.  We have to be real careful with each other though.  No more teasing until you come out Bean.  But neither one of us feels like teasing.  Missy warned me that it could make you come out too soon.  And Roman really isn’t up for teasing because he is very hurt.  They skinned some of his leg.  The ones I caught went too quick.  I should have skinned them and given it to Roman for his fur and hide collection.  I would have if I had known.  But he didn’t talk no matter what they did to him.  He was very brave and didn’t talk.  What did I tell you Bean?  We are lucky and Roman is very special. 

It makes me mad that I can’t take care of him the way he has taken care of me.  Those bastards.  I hope they die and die and die some more.  I’m glad they are starving.  I’m glad they are getting lost in the snow and freezing and things are getting black and falling off.  They should have stayed away.  They should have stayed in the city since they love it so much and elected all the monsters so that they could have stuff. 

If they couldn’t stay away they should have tricked the revenuers and taken their stuff instead of what they’ve done.  Dogs sniffing their master’s butt is all they are.  They deserve what is coming.  I’ve only told Saul and I don’t think he all the way believes me.  But he believes me enough that he’s had the word go out.  Lockdown.  Don’t have anything to do with strangers, especially strangers that look sick and everyone has to report any kind of rash. 

I hear him breathing.  The tea is finally working … the tea that I told Missy about that the girls would take when they got badly used.  It takes the edge off.  He was in so much pain.  There are some places so deep that I heard Mrs. Beauchamp whispering that in the old days they would have done a skin graft.  Instead all they could do is try and sew those areas closed and they’ve stretched the skin tight and it pains him awfully bad. 

Bastards.  I’m not sorry I did what I did.  Not all of them will die but I expect a lot will before they figure out what is going on.  By that time it will be all over the place … even in the revenuers they meet up with.  And from there I hope it gets into the revenuers’ bosses. 

You don’t have to worry Bean.  Growing up in Africa and then living on the docks seems to have some benefit after all.  That stupid doctor.  We all hated him.  He just loved sticking us.  I think he stuck us more than he needed to.  He charged the government an arm and a leg I can tell you that.  Mother Mary got a good sized kick back.  But I’m immune to so much stuff that it’s like my body wears armor. 

Typhoid.  But the explanation will have to wait until tomorrow.  All I want to do is lay here and listen to him breathe.