Chapter 5

That was the sum total of my existence for about six months.  In the early days he came almost daily, sometimes more than once.  Even when I had my monthly he would come by and talk at me.  And I mean just that, he talked at me rather than to me.  He rarely needed a real response but he did require that I appeared to pay attention to what he was saying.  Most of the time he wasn’t rough which made it hard for me to fight him but there were days he seemed to come spoiling for a fight.  He never hit me but there were a few times he did hurt me.   

Only one time did he come in drunk and I think it was that time that you happened.  He was on me so fast and hard that protection never entered either of our heads.  It was also the only time he slapped me around, only it wasn’t just slapping by the time he wore out.  Apparently his brother had come to do a surprise check up on him and whatever business he was overseeing.  He used me to take his frustrations out on.  I’m still not sure he meant to do what he did.  He’s never brought it up and neither have I.  It doesn’t matter.  It wasn’t the first time I’d woken up in a pool of my own blood and it wasn’t the first time that I’d seen hate in a man’s eyes as he blamed me for what he’d chosen to do to me.  It also wasn’t the first time that I’d seen fear in a man’s eyes as how far he’d gone sunk in. 

Emerald got involved that time.  She took her job seriously.  Sure she was mean and hateful, cynical and sarcastic, but she prided herself on doing the job she had the right way and sticking to the rules.  There were plenty of rules for the whores but there were also rules for the men and women who used them.  First off was to pay what was owed.  But the second rule was that while some rough housing was expected, men were not allowed to permanently deface the merchandise since they were only renting them for however long their contract was for. 

It didn’t break the contract because I didn’t die.  And he didn’t die from the beating he took from Emerald’s enforcers.  But it was awhile before he did much more than come by and throw a bag on the table.  He couldn’t stand to look at me.  He wasn’t exactly a beauty queen either and I got the impression that after Emerald’s enforcers had had at him the brother had added to it. 

“Why does he have to come around anyway?!  It’s like they don’t trust me or something.  I’ve never given them any reason not to.  The money I take out is my fair pay and I don’t care what they have to say about it.” 

I must have been bored that day because for some reason I asked, “Him who?  They who?” 

“Oh so now you’re interested.  You never ask questions and the one question you do ask is about HIM?!” 

I wasn’t up for another beating and he looked in the mood to deliver one so I calmed him down by saying, “Normally you explain things so good I don’t have to ask.  If you don’t want to tell me then don’t.  It is your business.” 

“Damn straight it is.”  He went stomping around.  “Roman … my brother.” 

After a moment I said, “Roman is the him and he’s your brother.” 

“Yeah.  The rest of them … well … hell, family is family and what would you know about it anyway.” 

That was just one of his little digs to try and make me less of a person, someone that since I didn’t’ understand what was happening to me he didn’t have to feel so bad about it.  I’d learned early that they only hit harder when you made them think you were human and not just some unfeeling doll built for their use.  Guilt does strange things to a man. 

“So basically your brother is giving you grief.” 

“Roman is always on my case.  That’s why I left.  But a man needs to make a living and I’m a hell of a lot better at this than most of them would be.  Let them live out in their little enclaves and have their special little members-only clubs.  I’m the one that brings home the bacon so they get to keep playing in the dirt out in the woods.” 

I’d known he didn’t have a lot of respect for his family in general, or at least in whatever it was his family did, but for the next three months or so I suddenly became his confidante for every wrong he felt he’d ever been dealt.  It got old.  It got old real fast.  On the other hand I could live with it.  I figured out if he used up his energy on that he had less for the other.  Then during one of my monthly physicals, required by state law so that Emerald could keep her business license, I got handed the news. 

It was Emerald that told me.  “You’re knocked up Thorn.  Doc isn’t sure if you’ll keep it or not ‘cause he said you told him you spot off and on.  I thought you were smarter than that.  It is too late for a pill now and the abortionist costs money.  Better hope you man will pay up.” 

That’s when I realized when it must have happened.   

Alex didn’t want to believe it.  He wanted to know who I’d been fooling around with behind his back. 

I didn’t feel calm but I tried to sound calm when I answered him.  “You and Emerald are the only two people that ever come in here and that door stays locked unless you or she opens it.  How am I supposed to have fooled around with anyone else?” 

Eventually he believed me.  It took about a week and by then he found out his family had put him on a short leash and he didn’t have the money to pay for an abortion.  It took me a week to realize that I didn’t want one and that they’d have to kill me first and by then it wouldn’t matter. 

“Don’t think you can blackmail me Thorn,” he said menacingly. 

“Forget it Alex, things have changed.  I’m not out to blackmail you, it doesn’t sound like you have the money for it.  But you are going to help me.” 

“Bull shit.” 

“Right back at you.  And no slapping or hitting.  I’ve stuck to the contract to this point but from here on out I’ll fight you … and I know lots of dirty tricks that will hurt you permanently if you fight me.” 

“Then you can just starve.” 

“For that to happen you’ll have to break the contract.  You’re already in enough trouble with your family, you want the kind of trouble that Emerald can make for you? 

He blanched the whined, “You said you weren’t going to blackmail me.” 

“And I’m not.  But we are going to get a few things clear.  You are going to keep bringing food like the contract says, and it isn’t going to be crappy rotten stuff either.  I’ve heard how some men are when they want out of a contract but want to push the girl into it so they aren’t the ones that have to pay the penalty.  You’ve only got three months left to put up with me.  Between now and then you’re going to help me save up a little extra so I can disappear and go have the baby some place besides the dock.” 

“Yeah right.  They’ll have you right back where you came from.” 

“Wrong.  Word has come down.  Mother Mary only has a couple of weeks at most to live.  I hear she isn’t much more than skin and bones these days.  And no one wants what is left of her stable because it is some kind of STD that got her and now the men all think the girls have it too.  I know Emerald, she’ll still try and make a few bucks off of me but I’m done with that.” 

“What are you going to do?  Go teach Sunday School?”  He laughed at his own joke. 

“Don’t worry about it.  That part isn’t your problem,” I told him.  What I didn’t tell him was that I didn’t have a clue, all I knew was that I was getting away from the dock and getting as far away as I could.  Not the best plan in the world I admit but it was what I had at the time.